Monday, June 30, 2008

Suing Terrorists

I'm seeing a lot of stuff today about suing terrorists (link) (link) for damages. I guess if that makes you feel better about the fact that little Johnny got blown up, go right ahead. But I have a couple questions to ask. I hope you won't think that I'm insensitive, I think the rest of this blog has answered that (bwahahaha) but first of all.

In order to have a successful civil suit, isn't it necessary to prove that you have lost a certain monetary amount first? If this is so (and I'm no Attorney) then doesn't what you're doing pretty much amount to saying that little Johnny was worth X amount? How exactly does one place a monetary value on a human life? He would have earned $X over a 20 year career at Burger King? How does one do that? How can one be callous enough to try? My mind boggles.

Now this:

What exactly makes you think that Sheik Abdul Ali Goat-Fucker is even going to show up to court to begin with? Add to that: Are you really stupid enough to think he's going to pay? Since the obvious (and thereby missed) answer is: About that, UMMMM, NO. Then what is it exactly that you hope to accomplish here?

I would surmise that you are a callous enough prick to think you can make a few bucks off little Johnny's untimely demise. Good luck with that. You may be wanting to make a statement about how horrible it was that Sheik Abdul Ali Goat-Fucker blew up (or ordered the blowing up of) Little Johnny in the first place. If this is so, then you may have missed one of the main points behind this little war we're in? Our military is currently over in the terrorist breeding ground expressing their (and by extension, our) extreme displeasure using bullets, bombs and rockets. A language uniquely understood by scumbags the world over.

Or is it perhaps that you just want to plug the court system up? Distract it from the annoying side job it has of sending rapists and murderers to prison and keeping child rapists locked up for life? Could that be it? Well fuck the Jones' it was just their 6 yr old getting raped, 20 yr old little Johnny is far more important than that so we'll sue the terrorists in Godthisplacesucksistan and make our $50,000 and they can just wait their turn? Again, my mind just boggles.

As bad as that is, what about the attorneys that agree to push this shit through the court to begin with? What the fuck are you thinking? If you're working on one of those "you don't get paid until I do" things, you're pretty well fucked right now. Exactly how and where are you going to find the necessary facts and witnesses that you'll need to prove your case? Who's the poor sap you're gonna hire to serve the law suit anyway? My kids are starving and I'm in a cardboard box...but I think I'm gonna pass on that job offer there Mr Attorney. Was it up to me, I'd serve it...taped to the warhead of a Hellfire Missile.

But wait...there's more!

What about the judges that even let this crap into their courts?

Is this any different than the frivolous lawsuits that brought us the Beverage may be Hot warning on coffee cups? Of course it might be hot's coffee for god's's supposed to be hot (unless of course you're gay or French....oops, same thing).

Maybe I better stop here, this is going to get off on a whole new rant.

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